Whether you’ve hidden your notifications in shame and filed the Tinder app in a ‘Photography’ folder on your phone, or you swipe with pride during boring MTR rides, chances are you’ve come across the same Tinder types we all have. It doesn’t matter if you’re diving in headfirst or preparing to dip a toe in the water, we still suggest you grab a paddle and steer clear of these real-life stereotypes. Good luck!
1. The Repeat Offender
Avoid wherever possible, because this one seldom ends well. They say it’s a small world, but we can guarantee you – Hong Kong is smaller. If you and your friends are active swipers, we’d seriously suggest checking in every now and then. While you’re almost guaranteed to have matched a few of the same people, it’s best not to let it get to the stage where you’re going on the same date with the exact same person.
2. The Freeloader
Quite clearly only there for a three-course meal and $200 cocktail. Spends most of the date Instagramming the fruits of their Tindering efforts. At best, makes a thinly-veiled attempt to reach into a wallet-less bag when the time comes to pay the bill. At worst? Asks for a doggy bag to take their leftovers home.
3. The Gif-ter
Quite content with the fact that they find themselves funnier than any other living human being ever will. Specialises in jokes even dads would turn their backs on. They make no attempt to hide who they are and wear their puns with pride. Avoid if unwilling to enter into a gif-off of epic proportions.
4. The Cliché
Bios contain one or more of the following: wanderlust; live, laugh, love; if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. Long walks on the beach are in reality a trek from Club 7-Eleven to the taxi stand.
5. The Goldilocks
Identifiable by the sheer length of their About Me sections. If you’re under six foot, don’t have a high-flying job, and are unwilling to disclose where you live, you’re not likely going to make it anywhere near a bowl of perfect porridge. Sorry.
6. The Ghost
The ghost can appear in two distinct patterns. The first is a perennial texter, who will be pinging your phone every few minutes with gifs, gaffs, and more. You’ve had a Tinder date or two and enjoyed their company. For one reason or another, the feelings are unrequited. In an attempt to avoid an awkward encounter and truth-telling session, this Tinder type will disappear without a trace, never to be seen (or heard from) again.
7. The Throuple-Seekers
A couple looking to, er, expand their horizons. Photos often conceal faces. Never heard the phrase before? Just heed our warnings. Don’t Google it. Ever.
8. The ‘27-Year Old’
Tricky to decipher whether a photo is grainy owing to a dodgy Instagram filter or a first-generation smartphone camera. Yes, they were 27 once. But how many years ago was that? May warrant further investigation to ensure they’re not a prehistoric Pre-Tinder type.
9. The Catfish
An unfortunate phenomenon that’s taken the Internet by storm. Think you’re messaging a 25-year old architect who lives in Central? Confused as to why he won’t share any recent photos, or pick up the phone? Do your research and make sure you’re not really on your way to meet someone completely different, whose likely stolen some photos from someone else’s Facebook page. Also, a good warning to check your own privacy settings too. You can never be too careful!
NB: The Catfish is not to be confused with the Group-er – a seemingly innocuous Tinder type who isn’t entirely comfortable in their own skin, and consequently posts only group photos (making it almost impossible to figure out who you’re going on a date with – if it even gets to this stage).
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